Main Developments Over the Last Two Days

Housemate: I now have another girl living in the house with me and she seems very sweet. It's too soon to tell, of course. These people can turn, and fast. But she really does seem very sweet. And she is from Columbia! The country, not the school. My dad spent years in Columbia, so it's actually a place I know a little about, which is neat. She also has an eating disorder. At first this scared me because I was worried I would gross her out, you know, because I'm so friggin' fat, but the therapist basically told me that was ridiculous. So, OK, glad to have a roommate.

Bicycle: I got a bike! OK, it isn't cool. Everyone at the Villa is under the impression that it's cool, but they are mistaken. It's a Schwinn cruiser from Target. I'm not ready for a fixie, guys! Plus my parents gave me a $150 giftcard to Target, and I could have sent it back and gotten cash instead but I didn't really want to ask them and I don't really have a way to go around and check out used bikes. So, I got the best Target had to offer. The handle bars are kind of weird and low and the ride is pretty bumpy, but I'll get used to it. It will be great to have, finally. I'll be able to get to the house and the Villa and TLLC and everything on my own, plus I can go out into Orlando and check stuff out by myself. So, yay bike!

Parents: I talked to them in a Family Session with my therapist. It's getting ridiculous. I get so frustrated and worked up I feel like I'm gonna barf out tears. I don't know if this is ever going to change.

Nutritionist: So I went to the Nutritionist. This is because I'm a fatty and a picky eater and have very little self awareness and self control and self esteem and blah blah blah blah self self self self. It's going to be a six week program, but the first week is gonna get me. She put me on a week-long cleanse and all I'm allowed to eat is 3 servings of lean protein a day (that basically means chicken, seafood, nuts, or beans. Oh shit I forgot to buy beans!), 3 servings of fruit a day, and, hooray, all the vegetables I want (I don't much like vegetables and I rarely eat them, so this is little consolation). Aaah I'm scared! I'm going to be so hungry I'm gonna freeeeeaaakk! I don't wanna do it. But I gotta do it. I think that being fat really is OK and it really shouldn't be stigmatized the way it is and whatever weight people are most happy at, that is where they are most beautiful. That being said, I am not PERSONALLY happy with being fat. My self esteem is too fragile, I care too much about what people think, and I care too much about clothes. Plus size stores are not acceptable, y'all! They are for old ladies and goth teenagers. I just want to wear regular sizes so I never have to go in to one of those stores ever again.

Stank: Apparently someone told my therapist that I don't smell good! And bad hygiene is a sign of worsening mental illness so they are always all over that shit. OK, I want to be very clear, I don't stink! I just smell like a HUMAN. It's OK for people to smell like people! All the other girls here smell like flowery fruit chemicals and it's disgusting/ Who decided that humans should smell totally artificial? Was it those same geniuses who decided we couldn't have body hair? Are we eventually going to start lacquering our skin and turning into mannequins? Turn into hairless beings who can't touch anything without hand sanitizer (preferably scented like rose mango or some such grossness)? Even though being informed that one person thought I smelled bad on one day was super embarrassing and makes me inclined to armpit paranoia, I can't let it. I'm plenty clean. I wear deodorant, I take showers, god help me I even wear make up and shave my legs. So fuck all them haters! I am woman hear me roar! (Someone also said my room stank and, admittedly, it does. It's clean. though! But I've got to find some shit like Febreeze or whatever, in a scent that doesn't make me want to die).

That Picture Up Thurr:
That is seriously what is above the main door in the Villa. The decorating sense here is distinctly Liberace-ian.