"The Disney Look"

I am going to apply for a job at Disney World. Here is their guidelines for how Disney employees may present themselves. It is hella funny, but amazingly I meet all the requirements.

The Disney Look – Includes but is not limited to the following requirements:

Male and Female:
Intentional body alteration or modification for the purpose of achieving a visible, physical effect that disfigures, deforms or similarly detracts from a professional image is prohibited. Examples: visible tattoos, brands, body piercing (other than traditional ear piercing for women), earlobe expansion, tongue piercing or splitting, tooth filling and visible, disfiguring skin implants.

Male:
Jewelry - Only one ring on each hand and a watch are permitted.
Hair - Cut above the ears and not touching the collar in the back. Must be one natural color. The style must be blocked and tapered. No bi-level cuts.
Face - Beards are not acceptable and sideburns cannot extend below the ear lobes. Mustaches must be neatly trimmed and cannot extend below the corners of the mouth.

Female:
Jewelry - Only one ring on each hand is permitted, with the exception being a wedding set, and a watch. One earring in each ear is permitted. Earrings may be clip-on or pierced and must be worn on the bottom of the earlobe. Post earrings may not exceed the size of a quarter. Hoop earrings no larger than a dime are also permitted.
Hair - Hair should be neatly combed and arranged in a classic, easy-to-maintain, proportionally balanced style. Extreme styles are not permitted. If the hair color is changed, it must be natural looking, well maintained and appropriate to the skin tone. Subtle highlighting is permitted as long as it creates a uniform look over the whole head. Shaving of the head or any portion of the head or eyebrows is not permitted.
Make-up - Foundation, blush, lipstick, and mascara in natural tones may be worn. Eyeliner and eye shadow are acceptable in neutral colors that are close to the skin tone. Fingernails polish, if worn, should be clear or flesh tone cream enamel. Nail length may not exceed 1/4” from the fingertip.

Oh my god I love Disney fascism! I am not even being ironic!