VICE (hey! relatives and other grownups! don't read this one!)

I really mean it, stop reading this now if you are related to me or are my parent's' friends or anything like that! No grownups allowed!

I started smoking. How did this happen? Because, obvious, it's a stupid idea. Cancer, etc. Here's what happened. I am stressed out beyond belief. First of all, The new girl (only 2nd newest, now. We got 3 new people this week. Henceforth she will be known as "the awful girl") is literally the worst person I have ever met in my life. She fakes sick or injured every day. She has called me "the biggest bitch in the world" (screamed it at me, actually) three times. (Her reason why she thinks I'm a bitch? Because I "talk all smart all the time." That's because I AM smart you fucking moron! That's not condescension,! It's reading books other than the fuckin "Twilight" saga! She is horrible. Awful awful awful. I don't think I've ever hated someone like this before. And HATING someone and being called names and having her talking behind my back telling other people not to hang out with me (of course they laugh in her face, EVERYONE hates her and I am generally well liked) is, like, really stressful. Finding a job is stressful. Never having any time by myself except when I'm asleep (and there is still a monitor in the other room) is stressful. Also stressful is that ANOTHER near-retarded person told me I talk too smart and it's annoying (this one is a staff member. I have helpfully provided a few quotes from her to illustrate her extreme dumbness: "You've got to nip that problem in the BUTT." "Rome wasn't built OVERNIGHT." "We'll figure that out when we cross that bridge." This is just a small sample. She talks that way, seriously, in every sentence she speaks. Oh, and she thinks "pizzeria" is pronounced "pizz-A-ria" and she gets super pissed and defensive when people try to correct her. Idiot.) Stressful! And I can't BELIEVE how much cigarettes help. It's like night and day.
Plus, most of my friends here smoke. I know most of my friends at home smoke, too, but we're not all forced into close quarters all day every day back at home. And I was allowed to smoke pot at home. I just want to be with my friends... and some dudes.
Yes, dudes. It has finally reached the point where I can not longer stand to be away from boys. I loooove them! And I feel shitty about it because, uh, still technically married? But dudes? Not like, I hella need to get fucked or anything. I just want to see some boners! Bonerz R Beautiful! And really, I am just desperate for male attention and affection. And I need to know this stuff, anyway. I never really learned how to flirt. I was in a serious relationship since I was 18! So, I need to prepare for my crappy new life as a SINGLE WOMAN. And this is a good place to practice because we're all together all the time. Plus, well, there's pretty slim pickin's, as far as other girls go. Pretty much all the other girls here either have something going already, are sexually traumatized, or are even grosser than me. (I know! Can you even believe it! Naw, I'm just playin'.) People always say, like, "oh, any guy will have sex with anybody" but... is that even true? How does this WORK? Why don't I KNOW this shit?
So, there you have it. Vices. I haves them, and they seem to be progressing in number and size. I'm supposed to be getting betterrrr. I don't want to end up happily turning tricks for cartons of smokes!