This morning, around 7 am (that's 4 am California time), Jon called and was irritated with my post from yesterday. It was a long, and frequently painful, phone conversation. But I think I finally am understanding what he is trying to tell me. And, basically, it is that I need to spend more time thinking about how other people feel. And that is very true. Sometimes it is very hard for me to see past my own nose, but it's definitely something I am working on now. With all the people here who TRULY can not think of anything other than themselves, I really see a model of what I can occasionally be like, and it has made me want to stop being like that very much.
And, in regards to the previous post, I hope I didn't come across as flippant, blameful, or otherwise unbecoming. I love Jon, and we both (probably more me, but we both) have made a pretty big mess of things. I don't know what's going to come of it, but he has been helping me in his way, and we mean a lot to each other. I never want to talk ill of him, or present things in any way other than the way which they are.
Also today, I was reached out to by a couple of ladies that I haven't even talked to since high school. First, Korina Nevarez sent me a very kind message on facebook, a general commiseration and some sound advice. Then, Nicole Bagood sent me some books, books which I had been meaning to read! It was such a delightful surprise, I about cried. It feels so good that people are out there, even people who are kind of obscure in my life, who are thinking about me, and who care. It's sometimes hard to feel that way around here, being, as I am, surrounded by people who don't really know me or care about me at all. (I shouldn't say that. Some of the staff and patients are very caring. It's just not the same, though.) The other thing which made me happy about this spontaneous reaching out is that it tells me that my blog is not in vain, that people are listening and being somewhat touched by what I have to say. Sometimes I worry that the blog is too self-serving, like I'm just unloading crap onto you, my readers. But it is my genuine hope that people get something out of it, even if it's just a few giggles.
We went to the movies and we finally saw "127 Hours" and it was so good. I love me some James Franco. He is one of the few celebrities who I actually just wish I was his girlfriend. It's not "I want to have sex with him" or "I just think he is very talented" or "I wish I was him" but just straight forward, "I want to hug this guy" kind of feelings. And did you know he is hosting the Oscars? With Anne Hathaway? Well, it's true. How will I even watch the Oscars here, though? Maybe, hopefully, I pray to fucking God, I will be out by then.
On the My Favorite Schizophrenic tip, he is going to compete in the 2012 Olympics! Apparently, he can run 50 mph. I am so impressed! My admiration of him grows and grows. By the way, I am being serious. I take everything he says at face value, because it brightens my day.
Finally, yes, up in the right hand corner, that is a picture of a man in an Obama hat taking his pet rabbit for a walk.