Yesterday it was announced that a staff member, who had fallen ill before I got here, had died. I didn't know the man so I didn't feel much, but a whole bunch of the other patients turned the whole thing into a big game of "How can I make this situation more about me?" So much trying to turn the conversation about some poor man's death to, like, how THEY were sadder than ANYONE ELSE. So many crocodile tears. It made me sick.
The new guy talks shit about the Aspergers girl all the time. He even pulled up her facebook page in his room and invited other people to come and mock it. Then, at Target, he convinced her to buy him headphones. Everyone is so god damn mean! It's like high school, but worse. High school if everyone there was totally mentally unstable.
I am so god damn tired of these people. I do like some of them, but the ones I like keep a much lower profile. The awful ones are always out making a god damn spectacle of themselves.
Some infuriating statements that I have heard over the last couple of days:
"I hate movies without special effect." (followed by) "There ARE no movies without special effects, idiot."
"Girls with short hair are ugly."
"We weren't allowed to shave at our last program, but this one girl pulled out all her leg and armpit hair. I think that's better than just being hairy."
"I would be friends with a lesbian, but only if she was hot."
"Black girls: I'm not a fan."
"Do you know that some people don't circumcise their sons? It's because they are too cheap to pay $100 at the hospital."
Aaaahhhh! I just want to THROTTLE someone!
My parents are driving me crazy, too. They just repeat themselves over and over again and it's so frustrating. I can't keep myself from screaming at them. I want to scream at everyone. I'm all tense and scream-y. And it's not mental illness! It's because people are assholes. I am accepting zero responsibility for this one.
The weather in Florida is finally getting cold. But guess what? Back to 77 degrees on Friday. Ugh whyyyyyyy? Fuck. That. Shit.
And today, I ate a piece of chocolate cheese cake, which I am going to be making up for like all week. I am not losing much weight anymore (although I am at least maintaining).
Art therapy was a saving grace, though. I did an oil painting of some underwater ghosts.
Other positive things: I talked to the cutest boy in the program about our mutual love of musicals (his favorite is Les Miserables, mine is West Side Story). I also had a very beautiful dream about a photo shoot, black and whites of two little naked girls, covered in a huge pile of tiny silver fish.
That's all. The end.
Carla, I have a story about Silverfish you may enjoy:
ReplyDeleteThe other evening after a long day at work and after making Brittney take me to buy a bottle of whiskey, I removed my shoes and coat and sat down at the kitchen counter. I was excited to relax, and had not yet stepped into Brittney's room, but lingered about the kitchen, cleaning a glass for my drink and scouring the kitchen for something to eat. As I had fixed myself a drink (whiskey and ginger ale... is there some sort of name for this drink?) and began to search the newspaper for the New York Times crossword, I heard a bloodcurdling shriek come from Brittney's room. Suspecting that there could potentially be either a dead person, a dead animal, or some other equally horrifying sight, I took a large drink of my cocktail, and calmly walked into Brittney's room. In the corner I spotted Brittney cowering in fear, and almost ready to break into tears. I asked what was wrong, as nothing in the room looked out of the ordinary. She said that there was a spider, the largest she had ever seen. I scoffed with a sense of masculinity, in order to ease her worried senses, and accepted her demand for me to kill the insect. She pointed in the direction of the spider, and as I went to look, the oddest looking bug I had ever seen in my life was hiding under the night stand. It was a Silverfish. I killed it with a book of short stories by Tolstoy. I went into the kitchen and finished my drink, along with several more that evening, and had no luck that on finishing the crossword (those things are hard, I think you have to have a college education to complete any of them besides the ones on Monday).
On a similar note, I was awoken this morning, about 9, to Brittney screaming about another spider. I never found this one, but I was up until 6 reading about how popular musician, Andrew WK is a shape shifting reptilian created by the Illuminati and the RIAA to brainwash our youth. I don't believe it, he seems like too nice of a guy. I haven't slept much. I am going to Brittany Russell's birthday at the Funcastle. I hope Sean Stout doesn't try to argue with me again about "how I don't do anything" and how I need to "support my friends." I'm going to write you a letter soon, I promise. We received yours and it was a wonderful read. I'm sorry to hear that your experience is not as fun as life in Sacramento, but hey, at least you get a free vacation. Can't wait until you get back!
-Dylan