Sick Day

I woke up today sick. I get sick a lot, so it wasn't surprising. I still managed to go to all the groups, but I didn't go on the outing, which, thank god. Because they went to the driving range (that means golf, people). I can think of few things I would less like to do. Except possibly bowling for the zillionth god damn time.
I had a phone conversation with Jon that made me cry. I meant to just see what was up, but I can't help trying to figure out where our relationship is going, if I should even hold on to a shred of hope, etc. He seems to think that he is answering these questions but I never seem to get what he is saying. Then he starts yelling and I start crying. The fact of the matter is, I love Jon like crazy, even through all the hurt I have been through, not to mention the hurt I have caused him. I can't imagine my life without him. I didn't think I would ever HAVE a life without him. It's so hard to believe or comprehend that it's actually over. We've broken up for long periods of time before. I can't just let this go. Jon was everything I ever worked for in my life. All I ever wanted was just a boy to love me. I don't even feel capable of finding that again. What am I supposed to do, DATE? I've never even really been on a date! Plus, I can't imagine another boy ever liking me. I don't say that to try to get compliments, I'm just stating a fact. I'm fat and pimply, tend to be somewhat annoying, and super high-maintenance. No guy who is awesome enough for me to consider getting into a relationship with deserves that.
I'm sorry for all this, I am just incredibly sad right now. I wish I was hugging someone. It's so weird, I never touch anyone here. No human contact what so ever. Doesn't that make things shrivel up and die?
The photo in the right-hand corner shows the cool Spanish Moss that grows on trees around here. It looks like an old plantation in a movie or something, but then it's juxtaposed with big ugly buildings, it's like the trees belong in a different place.
Finally, let's take a break with My Favorite Schizophrenic:
This guy I hate was ONCE AGAIN talking about guns. He said "I'm strapped, yo!" and then My Favorite Schizophrenic totally busted his ass! He was like "Yeah, you're strapped like Beyonce Knowles" and no one understood what he meant, but he explained that Beyonce (as well as the other members of Destiny's Child) wears a strap-on! He was calling the guy dick-less! And he was also saying hilarious things about Beyonce! It was magical.